


I can do it, if it's with you

by at_least_this_planet_has_namjoon



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boyfriends, But I also want a Ten so, Canon Compliant, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Ten, Hurt/Comfort, I just want all of them to be happy, I literally wish I had a Johnny, I love to use the words soft and gentle, I overtag, I really hope I got the sleeping arrangements right, Johnny calls Ten Baby and I'm living, Johnny is amazing, M/M, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Please tell me if I didn't, Respectful Johnny, Sleepy Boys, They are overworking themselves aren't they, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, best boyfriend Johnny, mentions of the other boys - Freeform, worried johnny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/at_least_this_planet_has_namjoon/pseuds/at_least_this_planet_has_namjoon
Summary: It’s one of those nights, the ones where he can feel the exhaustion of the day pulsing through his whole being, shaking him to the core. Ten’s body is tired, but his mind won’t let him get the rest he so desperately needs.-Ten has a panic attack in the middle of the night and Johnny is there to comfort him.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 6
Kudos: 153





	I can do it, if it's with you

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! trigger warning for panic attacks, problems with breathing and lots of crying.
> 
> I wrote this after 8 hours of online uni. I am exhausted and unbelievably soft for Johnten.  
> Please excuse any mistakes and everyone please stay safe out there. Stay at home, wear your masks. I love you and we will get through this!

It’s one of those nights, the ones where he can feel the exhaustion of the day pulsing through his whole being, shaking him to the core. Ten’s body is tired, but his mind won’t let him get the rest he so desperately needs. He has tried everything from listening to some calming music to drawing something on his tablet. But his brain is so loud in his head that he cannot concentrate on anything.  
It happens to him sometimes, to all of them, when the pressure gets a little too much. When the bad thoughts get a little too loud. Somehow, Ten thinks, they have gotten a lot more frequent, nights like these.  
It hurts. Everywhere.  
There is pain in his body, that is not from the constant overuse from dance practice. It lies deeper, begins in his heart and floods through his body in waves.  
Ten wishes he could just turn off the tab.  
He shifts from his position lying sideways on his bed onto his back. Ten stares at the ceiling above him and tries taking controlled deep breaths, counting them. He gets to seven when his throat starts to feel uncomfortably tight and he can feel his eyes welling up. It has been some time since the boy has cried but the pure panic he is feeling right now makes his emotions unable to control.  
Ten squeezes his eyes when the first tear starts to roll and a shiver runs through his whole body, forcing a quiet gasp out of him.  
He pushes the covers off of himself, quickly climbs out to the bed and flees the room, clutching his phone in his hands. He closes the door silently behind him, desperately trying not to wake up Hendery and also praying that the others are all asleep. If he has a panic attack right now, he doesn’t want any of his babies to know.  
Ten stands in the hallway for a few second, the tears rolling down his cheeks mercilessly. He doesn’t know where to go.  
The living room sounds like a good idea for now.  
When he arrives there he sits down on the sofa softly, unsure of what to do. He is still crying and his breathing is now coming out short and labored. He just sits there for a few moments, staring at the black tv screen in front of him, wondering if he is faking it all. Can you have a panic attack alone and fake it? Is this even a panic attack? He has seen Taeyong in worse state than he is in right now.  
The thought of seeing one of his bandmates in pain and not being able to do anything makes Ten only panic more. He suddenly feels really dizzy and wonders if that might be because he still hasn’t gotten his breathing under control.  
Ten’s hands are shaking like crazy and he can barely see the phone screen through the tears clinging to his eyelashes, so it’s sort of a miracle when he is able to find Johnny’s number (in his favorites) and press the call button.  
Johnny picks up after the first ring. „Ten.“ He can hear the boy’s smile through the phone. „What are you doing still awake? Don’t you have Superm practice tomorrow morning?“  
„Johnny,“ is all Ten manages to say. He knows he sounds weak and shaky.  
„Ten? Ten, is everything alright? Are you hurt?“ The fear in Johnny’s voice is evident, and it only makes Ten cry harder.  
„Johnny,“ he repeats helplessly. „I don’t feel good. Can you come?“  
On the other line, Johnny exhales. „I..I’m still in the car, Ten. I’ll be home in maybe, uh, seven minutes. Can you tell me what’s wrong, baby?“  
Seven minutes feels like an eternity away.  
„Tennie? Please breathe. Try to calm down, please. I’ll be there very, very soon,“ Johnny begs. He sounds further away from his phone for the next part, talking louder and in Korean. „Could we maybe hurry a bit. I really need to use the bathroom.“  
He goes back to speaking softly after that. „Baby? Are you hurt? Do I need to call an ambulance?“  
Ten presses his phone closer to his cheek. „No,“ he hiccups. „I think…I think I’m having a panic attack.“  
There is a moment of silence on the other line. And if it wasn’t for his heavy breathing, Ten is sure he could hear Johnny think. „Oh Ten, you’re gonna be okay, I promise. Please just breathe for me, okay? Can you maybe wake up one of the guys?“  
A surge of panic rises in Ten’s throat like bile. „No“, he chokes out. „I don’t want them to…to..know.“  
„Okay, baby, you don’t have to. It’s alright. Just breathe, please. Just focus on breathing. It’s gonna be okay. I will be there so soon, I promise.“

Ten doesn’t remember how he manages the next five minutes. Johnny keeps talking to him in his soft hushed voice, telling him about about his day and reminding him to breathe every so often. Then Ten can hear other people talking and the ding of the elevator and suddenly there is a the beeping of the front door and a „Baby it’s okay. I’m here now.“ before Johnny hangs up.  
Ten hears the shuffling of Johnny toeing of his shoes and tries to get up to greet him but his limbs aren’t cooperating.  
So he is still sitting in the same position, clutching his phone in his hand, when Johnny appears in the door frame. Ten takes one look at him and breaks down again, crying even harder than before.  
Johny hurries over in record time and squats down in front of his boyfriend. He is about to engulf him in a hug when he remembers that he knows better.  
„Tennie, can I touch you?“, he asks, wanting nothing more than to hold his boyfriend and shield him from all the hurt in the world.  
Ten gives him an urgent nod and soon finds himself surrounded by his boyfriend’s strong arms. Ten scoots closer, pushing his face into the crook where Johnny’s neck and shoulder meet. Johnny responds, his hand finding the back of Ten’s head, petting the hairs in his nape. Neither of them say anything but after about a minute, Johnny’s legs start to hurt from his awkward squatting position and he loosens his hold a bit, maneuvering them so he is seated on the sofa as well, helping Ten lift his knees so they are propped up onto Johnny’s lap.  
Johnny tightens his hold again, when he feels his boyfriend relax into the hug. His sobbing has lessened a bit, Johnny’s neck still feels damp from tears but he cannot tell if they are fresh.  
It takes Ten a good 15 minutes until he has calmed down a bit. 15 minutes of absolute agony for Johnny who’s mind is running 200 miles per hour. He really wants to know happened but doesn’t want to trigger Ten into another attack.  
„Baby?“, he tries softly. „Baby, are you feeling a bit better?“  
He feels Ten take a deep, controlled but shaky breath against his neck. „I think so.“ Ten’s voice is raspy from the crying and he sounds absolutely exhausted.  
He shifts in Johnny’s hug, loosening it and sitting back so he can look at the other boy. His face is puffy, his eyes are reddened and there are tear tracks on his cheeks. Johnny still thinks he is the most beautiful person he has ever seen.  
Johnny lifts his hand from where they were resting on Ten’s back and bring them to the younger’s face carefully brushing away his tears. Ten’s hands soon join him and he starts rubbing at his face furiously.  
„Hey, gentle,“ Johnny reminds him, grabbing his hands and stopping the rough treatment.  
„Sorry.“ Ten looks at the elder sheepishly, before bringing their hands into his lab and holding onto them.  
There is a moment of silence, the both of them just holding each other’s gaze.  
„Do you want to talk about it?“  
Ten closes his eyes, a painful look on his face. „No,“ he says. „No, not tonight. I’m so sleepy.“  
Johnny softly smiles at his boyfriend. „Of course, baby. Would you like to come sleep in my room? Haechan is at Mark’s tonight.“  
The way Ten’s tired eyes light up is enough to make Johnny’s heart flutter. „Please.“ 

The two of them make their way to the 5th floor after Johnny has helped Ten put on some shoes. The younger is half asleep when they arrive in Johnny’s room, nodding off on Johnny’s shoulder in the elevator.  
The older helps his boyfriend under the covers on his bed, before pressing a kiss onto his forehead. „I’m gonna wash up. I will be right back, okay?“  
Ten barely manages to nod.  
Johnny is back in record time and Ten fights to keep his eyes open to watch his now barefaced boyfriend shuffle around the room, slipping out of his jeans and pulling on a worn out t-shirt.  
The boy soon joins Ten under the covers and when Ten feels his tall boyfriend press against him, it pushes a soft whine out of Ten’s throat and he tries to scoot impossibly closer.  
„I’m here, Tennie. It’s okay, I got you.“ Johnny wraps his arms around the younger, pulling him flush against his broad chest.  
Their eyes meet again and Ten thinks for a moment how before he met Johnny he didn’t think that there could be this much comfort solely in someone’s eyes. He wishes to drown inside Johnny’s eyes, to get lost in their galaxy and disappear from this world, far away to a place where only Johnny and his comfort exist.  
„Thank you,“ he whispers, already on the verge of sleep again.  
Johnny’s eyes shine, the skin around them crinkling. „I love you so much, Ten. I hope you know that.“  
Ten leans forward, making their lips meet in a soft kiss which lasts only for a few moments, the both of them too tired for anything more.  
„I love you, too, Johnny. You’re my whole world.“  
„Go to sleep now, baby. I’ll be here anytime you need me. We can do this together.“  
The last thing Ten registers before falling asleep, is gentle hands softly brushing his fringe out of his eyes and he thinks to himself: I can do it, if it’s with you.


End file.
